Merry Christmas

That’s Life
The following stories are fictionalized accounts of actual police reports.

All he got was a sympathetic shrug of the shoulders, an awkward smile and a handshake. It all happened in a blur, and even though deep down inside he knew it was coming, he still went numb to the news.

Downsized. Laid off. Canned. Just an ordinary man, an unlucky ordinary man who got a pink slip for Christmas.

Should have listened to that little voice that told him to save, to stop living paycheck to paycheck. But times were so good, everyone was so prosperous. How could this happen in the fastest growing economy in the nation?

All he got was a dirty smile and a sarcastic shrug from a boss who never really liked him anyway. It makes him wonder why; he always worked hard and kept his nose clean. The reason dawns on him as he drains his third martini. He wasn’t one of them, and everyone knows those guys stick together. This unlucky ordinary man is looking for someone to blame.

It doesn’t take long to find something to burn.

It sits in front of a house in the same Fountain Valley neighborhood he calls home, just a couple of streets over from his own. Bastards. He’ll show them. He’ll burn that damn Chanukah flag.

Except the thing won’t catch fire. No matter how many times he holds the flag up to a match, the thing will not blaze up like all the times he’s seen it done on television. He runs out of matches and tries ripping it–but only breaks the pole.

He leaves it lying on the ground in front of his neighbor’s house, a broken flag with a hole burned in the center.

Fountain Valley…
Someone removed a resident’s Chanukah flag from a holder outside the home, broke the flagpole and attempted to burn the flag sometime Thursday night. The flag did not catch on fire, but a 1-inch hole was burned into it. It was left on the driveway.
—
He always knew a sales career was not for the thin-skinned. That was OK; it was a decent living and he was tough enough to take it. As a salesperson at a Fullerton furniture store, he got his share of challenges. Every time he thought he’d blow it, he’d recall what the old man who trained him would say:

“Don’t ever let ‘em see you sweat, Charles. Don’t ever let them see the real you.” It was good advice, but Charles believed that to maintain self-dignity you had to draw a line. He just hoped he’d never find out what would happen if a customer made him cross past the point of no return.

John walked into the store looking for a fight. Traffic was terrible and Christmas was racking up ever more in credit card debt. Why he was here he didn’t really know for sure, except for some vague notion that his wife wanted a china hutch.

This was supposed to be the store with the cheapest furniture and easiest credit terms. He had already been turned down three times, and John was not used to rejection. Charles smiled and told him not to worry. They approve everyone, he said. Bad credit, no credit–no matter. Everyone got furniture here.

He showed John every single hutch in the store, opened all the doors and drawers for his careful inspection.

John haggled. Charles told him the price was not negotiable.

He called him a liar. Charles asked him not to be insulting.

Finally, John realized he was getting nowhere, so he picked the first hutch Charles showed him and asked for the paperwork. Charles smiled and told him not to worry. They approve everyone here–bad credit, no credit, no matter. Everyone gets credit at this furniture store.

They approve everyone here–bad credit, no credit, no matter.

Everyone, unless your name is John and you’re maxed out beyond hope. No one trusted his signature anymore–not even the easiest furniture store in town.

It gets a little fuzzy after that. John started getting crazy, yelling and shouting and creating a scene. Charles remembers that John said some pretty nasty things, and at some point he decided that he didn’t want to be a punching bag anymore. He can’t recall what it was that did the trick. All Charles knows is that he pushed John out of the store and closed the door.

John called the cops and filed assault charges.

Fullerton… Report of an assault…apparently a furniture salesman grabbed a customer and pushed him out of the store.