Smokin’

If I could, I would smoke for the rest of my life.

Not because I enjoy it; and not because it makes me cool, and certainly not because my friends are doing it. I simply started a long, long, time ago and now it is as much a part of who I am as my nose or my eyes or my voice or my cough.

There�s no getting away from it. Once you smoke, the stink stays on you.

So I quit; but not because I really wanted to. I quit because I am afraid of being a loser, and smokers are, in fact, the biggest group of losers around. The science is clear � smokers die young. And unless you are a Bible Thumping Bushie or a Muslim Loon, no one really wants to die at 55 with two black lungs. The only reason people smoke is for the addiction, and the addiction will kill you just as sure as getting stoned on crack will put you in a box � it just takes longer.

So I quit. Cold turkey. For months.

And then I started again. And then I quit again. And all I really know is that if I could, I would smoke for the rest of my life.