It’s an amazing invention, really. Pork-chop-on-a-stick is about as American as burnt witches, tar pots, feather piles and hangman’s tree. It’s as American as Garrison Keillor is UNAmerican. Ugh. What a left-wing loon. Surely, the fabric of our society has been ripped to shreds when a radio personality – a radio “personality” can say “breast” on the air – and STILL keep his job. Roveites, Crawford Ranch Boys, please marshal up some righteous right-wing anger and cast this contemptuous comedian into the Caspian.
Maybe Keillor was confused. Perhaps he simply wanted to try chicken breast-on-a-stick, another American delicacy. But don’t get me started on chicken breast, perhaps the most patriotic of all stick foods. Moms and Dads, listen up: if you want your little girl to grow up right, feed her breast-on-a-stick. Apparently, the hormones we pump into our chickens are good for building big breasts – not just the chicken’s – that will undoubtedly make America strong again. Stick food, endowed chickens and a few dead witches. It’s what we need to beat back the horror of terror.