Memo to Judge Fink: the next time you get a curveball in the courtroom, count to 20 before you open your trap.
On a choking hot day in the So Cal, Fink, a sub-judge in Los Angeles Superior Court, was presiding over a mundane, boring, run of the mill restraining order case when the bombshell landed: the woman who brought the case against her husband admitted that yes, indeed, she was an ILLEGAL. Which presented Fink with a difficult dilemma: continue with the case and ignore Federal Law, or have the woman arrested and deported – which ironically would have given her what she wanted. Instead of calling a 10 minute recess and mulling over the situation, Fink chose to climb onboard the soapbox and proclaim his distaste for the law. Then, in a moment of sheer and mindless brilliance, he then guaranteed headlines for at least a week by pointed the power of his seat like a gun at the feet of the woman, commanding her to dance right on out of his courtroom. He gave her 20 seconds, and, then – surely for dramatic effect – began to count, treating her like a sullen child. When she was gone – no word on how many seconds it took for her to scramble out of the doors – the judge looked around and dismissed the case, saying that because the woman who brought the case was no longer in the room, why, they obviously could not move forward.
Maybe he had a tee time. Or a lunch date. Or maybe he thought that it would be a clever way to get on talk radio. Best of all, Fink has done all of us legals a valuable service by setting the standard on how long it takes to chase an illegal. And who knows — had he counted in Spanish, it might’ve been only 10 seconds!
And just think: Fink just may be on to something. Instead of trying to solve problems, we should just tell the problem to go away, then count to 20. It will make us feel big about ourselves, to be sure, and heck – if the problem’s not around, who needs a solution?